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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?